Another Rant from me sorry

Watching out my window last night as the storm clouds rolled by.Droplets of rain creating rivers on the windows making me stare in silence and wonder. This time the world and I have nothing to say to each other. One turns to face the emptiness and the other welcomes many around her. Coldness surrounding a darkened room , searching for a light that will never to be searched for and never to be given the chance to be found. I swallow hard to fight off any emotion. Now there is no way i could fathom feeling anything for anyone not even myself at this moment. Is it wrong to show emotions to the people around you yet not let them in?

I say No , I do not show how people have hurt me or how they have have caused a ripple in my lake. For if we show who we truly are to everyone then we can not be truly special to anyone. We can not always be who the world wants us to be. Then again if we were who we truly want to be would the world except us for who we are and who we want to be rather then what we are told to be. I was told for the longest time that i was little miss perfect the beautiful , smart one the one everyone said why cant you be more like her. The truth was that those words held more guilt and shame then the foulest derogatory comment in the world. It would have stung a lot less if Someone would have just told me i was ugly. Feeling the need to live up to something to be the good one or the quiet one while all the while you are screaming inside wanting someone to say i know you are not perfect and i care. Here's a hint for guys when a girl has been told shes beautiful all her life that is the last thing in the world she wants to hear same thing for guys. In this world where everything is based on looks its hard to tell who a person really is if you don't give them a little lee way to show you who they are. Granted if there is any physical attraction it will be there regardless until you find out that person is a Dick or a Bitch then what you may still find that person attractive but the allure of the persona is gone.

I took the picture down of my face as my profile because people were adding my based on my looks and not even bothering to read anything i had to say. it was always "your hott!" or "will you go out with me ?" or "will you marry me?" or disgusting comments i refuse to post on my page that no one should ever hear. The point is I am who I am but i would rather you understand and get to know me before you base a judgement on my apperence .